This one took me so much time. I rewrote it like four times. I knew what I wanted but didn’t know how to make it happen, I guess. I just wasn’t happy with anything, but this finally made more sense to me. I mean, it’s currently 3:30 AM, but I guess we can’t chose at what time inspiration hits us.
I get the feeling you were waiting for something more, you know, steamy… but I suck with steamy action 😦 I always do pervy jokes but when it comes to erotic writing, it simply isn’t my thing. Still, I hope you enjoy this!
——
‘It hadn’t been a mistake. It had been everything but a mistake,’ Oikawa thought.
Since they had met on their first
week in college, an intense spark had born between them. Back then neither of
them thought it was what it was. They granted the excitement to the new phase
of their lives. When you’re young and finally starting to take the world with
your own bare hands, everything made you felt exhilaration. It never occurred
to them it was the chemistry between them what made the day they met so special.
It was too soon.Fast-forward to a couple of months
later and those friendly chats and innocent outburst of laughter became a heavy
attraction. They were oblivious to how much they unnecessarily touched each
other, or how close their faces when they talk face to face as if the
conversation was a secret. It was almost natural for them to invade the other’s
personal space. They were pulled together like magnets.He began to suspect when he caught
himself staring at her mouth while she was chewing the small pink eraser on the
back of her pencil as she absently gazed at their professor. He had pressed his
mouth against the back of his hand unable to look away. Later that same day she
had tugged his arm forcing him to bend his body so her mouth could successfully
reach his ear. As she whispered some new funny gossip she had heard, he felt
shivers dancing on his spine and traveling to the back of his neck provoking
his skin to bristle.The smallest actions started to have
a major effect on him, and those sensations were ones he wasn’t able to ignore
for long.Kiss me on the mouth and set me free
Sing me like a choirHe hit the volleyball with a strength
he rarely put into practice causing a blasting noise to resonate in the gym. He
usually went easy trying to perfect his precision more than his punch. Not that
day. He was hitting each ball furiously. Even the coach stared at him puzzled
by the sudden burst of power. He was aware he was attracting some eyes to him,
but nobody asked and that made him glad. His head was a labyrinth he wasn’t
being able to cross.It wasn’t just how her actions now
affected him, now he started to notice what had been unnoted until then. He was
observing, neatly studying, the way her body moved when she walked, ran, or
bend. The form her hands decided to do everything, from stroking, to holding,
to grabbing, to simply everything.And as if his hands had a mind of
their own, they started to superficially explore more of her. Unconsciously he
would rest a hand on one of her tights more often than before, or fondle her
forearms or whichever surface of her body he was having contact with. Even her
hair was being a victim of his sudden urgency of closeness. He would play with
the ends of her hair as they talk, softly untangled it. He enjoyed the smooth
sensation of his fingers going through the threads.What made everything worse what the
type of relationship they shared. After Iwaizumi, she was the closest friend he
had ever had. She was more than a simply girl with who he could flirt with no
shame or fear of the consequences. He would never cross a line she didn’t want
him to cross. And to ruin what was already built was a dangerous bet.Then again, it was a difficult task
to keep himself together when he had her in front of him wearing a short skirt
and a lose, thin shirt in front of him enjoying herself with some of her own
friends in one of the too many parties that were thrown in the campus. Nor the
other girls in the place, or one of his new teammates telling him all about his
one not-that-impressive story were as interesting as she was.He found himself biting the lid of his red plastic cup
anxiously as he watched her.I can be
the subject of your dreams
Your sickening desireWhen perverse images of her started to attack his mind
was when he knew he was done for. He not only liked her, or desired her; he
wanted to take things to the next level with her. He realized this as he stared
at the ceiling covered in sweat in a not all hot night. The only thing that was
burning in the room was his own skin. He sat on the edge of the bed watching
his roommate quietly sleeping, and he envied him.He stood up taking off his shirt, which was damped in
sweat, letting it fall into the floor without caring where. The fresh breeze
inhabiting the place felt nice. He walked to the bathroom, closed the toilet,
and sat. He rubbed his face with the palms of his hands, and pushed back his
hair from his face.He took in consideration all of his options. Confessing
was a straight no. As far as he had seen her behavior hadn’t change one bit
with him. She acted with the same naturalness she had always demonstrated
around him.Also, she was exactly that, a friend. Once you started being in a relationship, the whole
dynamic automatically changed. They were close to each other, but they had
parts of their lives they didn’t share with one another. She was mildly aware
that he used to have a losing streak in high school despite of his keen
abilities. Yet, she knew nothing about the true problem that lied within his
complex personality, the fights he dealt with deep
down himself alongside other nightmarish matters that he made sure nobody knew
existed in him.He had had a moment once, and he had dismissed with a
simple ‘I’m having a bad day’ type of bullshit. She didn’t duel too much with those
kinds of things. She had respected his space. If they dated, that veil that
still existed between would evaporate. After all, they had known each other
only for a couple of months. And he was afraid she wouldn’t like what she saw
when he was forced to open up to her.He was also unaware if she had any weird habit or her
own demons. He was sure she had them, everyone had their own. The true question
was how big and destructive those demons of her were, and if she had them under
control. The second realization of the night was how little he actually knew
her. He could order by memory her favorite coffee from the fancy cafeteria they
had in campus, and identify her calligraphy, but the important, substantial
information was still to be found.A small detailed flashed before him. She hadn’t
demonstrated any change towards him. But he had. He definitely had grown more
confortable with touching and sharing. He had criticized himself weeks prior
due to his new odd behavior. She hadn’t rejected him, or been awkward. She was
confortable with it.So maybe… Just maybe…
He stopped himself and turned the shower on. He had to
cage the lion instead of justifying why it was out, and freely hunting an
innocent prey.Don’t you
wanna see a man up close
A phoenix in the fireHe should have known back then that his intuition
rarely was unerring. Almost never, actually. How homely she reacted with his
propinquity was no coincidence. It was the obvious and unique sign she was feeling
her own kind of urgency.Another party, and another series of red plastic cups
filled with a badly mixed drink that had more alcohol than the necessary and
too little soda in it. It was nearly two in the morning and she clung to his
arm as she was laughing hysterically at the story he was whispering directly to
her ear with a smile just as wide as hers. Hearing her laugh in that specific
way never failed to make him feel fulfilled, as if he had won a big prize.The place was still packed with people having a good
time; therefore, the free space that existed was next to none. A bulky guy
holding two cups filled to the top was trying to pass, so Oikawa did what his
drunken mind decided was the best. Like an instinct he half trapped her waist
with his free arm, and pulled her against him to the point his lips were now
pressed against her ear, and there was no space between their bodies. The guy
finally was able to walk away but they didn’t separate. Instead, she was now
rubbing his back as they kept joking and acting like nothing new was happening.The sensation was so pleasant he started to wonder if
the light pink adorning her cheeks was because she was also drunk, or if she
was feeling as flustered as he.The same scenario repeated over and over again. There
had been a couple of times when alcohol hadn’t been added into the equation,
and they had founded themselves in each other’s arms. He was enjoying himself,
and now was obvious to him she was doing the same.You can coax the cold right out of me
Drape me in your warmthThe rapture in the dark puts me at ease
The blind eye of the storm
He’d had a taste of what awaited him
in paradise, it was only logical for him to want some more. His hunger was no
longer satisfied by those small, random moments. He was now in the search of
the perfect instant to lastly put an end to the seduction game they had ended
up playing. He wasn’t in for any more games. He longed for the real thing.Nevertheless, nothing can ever be
that perfect.That time around no parties were
involved, and both were sober. Winter brake had arrived and both of them were
leaving to their respective prefectures the day after.They were sitting on the couch in the
empty common room of the dorms. Almost everyone had already left the campus, or
were getting ready to do so first thing in the morning. Both of them should
have been doing the same, yet the quietness of the place as the television
played in low volume offered an intimate atmosphere. He was anxious as he
wrapped her around the shoulders as he usually did. His fingers were tapping on
her shoulder giving away his restlessness.“Oikawa,” she spoke attracting his
gaze off of the movie and to her. “Are you okay?”“Yeah, why?” he quickly asked.
“You seem… I don’t know, quite
fidgety tonight.” He stared at her eyes. She was looking at him with a mix of
curiosity and humor. The glow of the television only got to illuminate half of
her face creating an interesting contrast on her features. But her eyes, those
shone with or without light. His body decided to breath deeply at the time his
arm left its current position freeing her from his embrace.His two hands rose and trapped her
face in a delicate gesture. She immediately tensed foreshadowing what was
coming next. He inclined his head to her, first resting his forehead on hers
and closing his eyes. He was trying to gather the little courage he needed to
finish what he was doing.“I don’t… I don’t know…” she started
to mumble. His eyes opened and he pulled back instantly, letting go of her face
in such a way it assimilated the way someone would pull their hand out of the
burning fire.“You don’t know what?”
“If… if doing this would be a good
idea.”First Oikawa felt a dry punch on his
stomach, and the air was missing. The next second he was gasping for air as an
incredible anger possessed him. He sinisterly chuckled.“Really? After all now you don’t know
if this is a good idea?”“I don’t know. It’s complicated,
okay?”Now he was on his feet. “What is
complicated? Giving me hints that there’s something between us and then kicking
me in the gut with this?”“I-it isn’t like that” she defended
herself.“It feels that way,” Oikawa answered
not caring about his voice betraying him.“I need some time to think things. We
have an amazing friendship, so why rush everything.”He made an amazing effort not to
scream his lungs out at that right second. “You should have done that before leading
me on.”Her face turned red in anger, and
decided to get up as well. “I didn’t lead you on! Being nice to you doesn’t
mean I want to be with you! I thought better of you!”He couldn’t hold it any longer. The
anger inside had officially eaten his common sense to death. The man who was
now speaking was not he. “Sleeping in my arms, or letting me practically touch
you all the time isn’t an only friends thing!”“I know we’re not just friends, but
I’m not ready. I don’t want this right now!”“Why?” he finally asked what he
needed to know. He had a long history of never reaching what he wanted the
most, and from the looks of it, this girl was going to fall into that same
list. She stared at him as she pressed her lips in a tight line. “Because of
the reputation? Because other girls like me too much?”“I don’t care about that.”
“Then why?” he laughed bitterly.
Another silence followed. “I won’t do this, _____. I won’t beg you. I have
pursued too many lost causes and I won’t chase you until you finally decide. I
won’t stay here for you to make me feel like my efforts aren’t good enough. I
don’t need another thing reminding me that shit.”And with that said, he stormed out of
the place before frustration replaced the anger, and tears started to flood his
eyes.I’m
pulling on your heart to push my luck
Cause who’s got any time for growing upHe didn’t heart about her for the whole winter brake.
He had utilized his time home to clear his head, and to talk to the right
people. Iwaizumi knew well the kind of person he was, and what he was willing
to do in all type of situations. The conclusion that they had reached was that
everything was messed up. ‘Sometimes
these things happen.’ He hated that saying. It implied there was nothing
left to do, and he detested not having an option to improve, to turn things
around.On his way back to campus, he didn’t feel as excited
as he did at the start of the school year. He would see her eventually, and
things would be different. To pretend the fight didn’t happen was useless, and
he wasn’t going to pretend he no longer had feelings for her. He did and he was
going to own the goddamn situation until a resolution came around. Because what
he had tried to do hadn’t been a mistake. He had done what felt right since he
believed both of them were in the same page. He wasn’t going to apologize for
that.And he hadn’t had to wait long for the so-called
resolution he needed. As soon as classes started, she was resting against the
wall next to the door of his room. He blinked a couple of times being taken
aback. She noticed his presence right away.“Hi, Oikawa. I need to talk to you,” she announced. He
didn’t move from his place, and maintain his expression neutral. Of course he
was feeling uneasy with ______ right in front of him, but that wasn’t something
he was going to admit to her. He just stared at her to let her know he was
listening. “I was stupid. I was so nervous because I didn’t know if I was
willing to ruin our friendship, but you were totally right. I should’ve considered
that before letting myself go. I hurt you and I never wanted to do that.”She made a pause to see if he had something to add. He
didn’t, so she continued. “I do like you, and a lot. In the time I was home I
realized how stupid it was. I noticed what you were doing and I let you because
I wanted that, too. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough,
because for me you’re so much more than enough. If you can forgive me… I would
like to make things right.”Oikawa didn’t know what got to him. Maybe it was her
voice that showed she was hurting, or the crystalized look her eyes had, or he
simply do loved her that much, but he walked up to her, and cupped her face.“You’re forgiven,” he said before finally kissing her,
and being glad when she kissed him back.So kiss me
on the mouth and set me free,
but please, don’t bite.
——
Thanks for the request! I hope you liked it!
Oh my sweetness you did
AMAZING with this. Writing subtle sexual tension is really difficult but you do
it masterfully in this. And I think you nailed Oikawa’s personality perfectly,
you really tapped in to how I believe he’ll be when he’s in college, still
hiding his demons, still striving so hard for perfection seemingly granted
easily to the gifted, just…beautiful in its tragedy.
There were so many lines
that had my eyes bugging out at their profoundness and felt like punches to the
gut in the best way possible, drawing up the remembrances of navigating a
friendship seemingly turning to romance but the unsureness of one’s own
perception being correct. I guess I’ll put a “spoiler” alert here for anyone
reading my comments before the story (don’t think there will be but just in
case).
- “His head was a labyrinth he wasn’t being
able to cross.” So simple and yet the imagery is profound. And please know,
when I say “simple” I know that these types of analogies don’t always pop into
our heads as writers easily or simply. I’m making a point to show you are
giving us so much information about
what he’s dealing with in a concise manner and that is not always easy to do.
So kudos! - “The form her hands decided to do everything,
from stroking, to holding, to grabbing, to simply everything.” For some reason, this line is so sexy to me, probably
because it leaves it to my (dirty) imagination to fill in the subtext of what
he’s “saying”. As he’s watching her hands, every word choice you give allows us
as the readers to be Oikawa watching
the object of their affection/attraction in a similar manner and thinking “what
would it feel like to be touched by them”? Very effective for building that
sexual tension even higher. Also gives acknowledgement to Oikawa’s observant
nature and keeps him very much in character. - “The only thing that was burning in the room
was his own skin.”
Forgive the possible pun, but this is HOT, HOT, HOT. Wanting someone so much
your skin burns, most people know exactly what you’re talking about and the
burn can be great or in this case painful because there’s no quenching it.
Brilliant, again in its simplicity, to show us exactly what’s happening. - “If they dated, that veil that still existed
between would evaporate. After all, they had known each other only for a couple
of months. And he was afraid she wouldn’t like what she saw when he was forced
to open up to her.” Oikawa
is such a complex character, he’s not just a whiny brat, he’s just
exceptionally cautious about who sees what of the real him and this paint that
imagery so effectively. - “He’d had a taste of what awaited him in
paradise, it was only logical for him to want some more. His hunger was no
longer satisfied by those small, random moments. He was now in the search of
the perfect instant to lastly put an end to the seduction game they had ended
up playing. He wasn’t in for any more games. He longed for the real thing.” This whole thing made my chest tighten because
I remember those moments in my own life so clearly and your word choice flows
beautifully here. - “The anger inside had officially eaten his
common sense to death.” Visceral
and powerful, just, wow, we’ve all been there. Great, great, great! - “He had a long history of never reaching what
he wanted the most, and from the looks of it, this girl was going to fall into
that same list.” Broke my
heart, seriously, imaging him reliving in a few nanoseconds all the failures of
high school, the missed chances, the things seemingly stolen from him. You
bring to the front his frustration and sense of loss or inability to really
gain what he wants and the despondency of those feelings. - The last lyric you picked to end it was PERFECT!
All of the above is to
say, you should be DAMN PROUD of what you’ve created here. I’ve never heard the
song but by the lyrics I can see where you would perceive someone
wanting/expecting something steamy and I’m here to tell you that just because you
never wrote a sex scene in this that doesn’t make it any less steamy.
If
anything, it makes it more because
you captured an essence of frustration and confusion that comes with the
territory of transitioning from friends to something more. Also, I LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE that you have Oikawa standing up for himself and calling the girl on
her BS of leading him on. The confession at the end was perfect, it wasn’t
contrived and didn’t feel like she was pitying him. She genuinely felt remorse
at her treatment of him and the heartfelt apology coupled with his forgiveness is just
thrilling.
So, yes my dear, you
wrote eroticism exceedingly well, you just tapped into subtlety far better than
you give yourself credit for.
This is, hands down, one
of my most favorite pieces I’ve read in the Haikyuu fandom and I’ve read A LOT.
Thank you for blessing us
with your talent, I’m am so excited to see what you came up with for my request
(no pressure, this just wet my appetite).





