Thank you for the request! I’ve enjoyed your writing so very much and I’m so pleased you passed over a request! I really hope you like what I came up with for this one! The song was definitely inspiring, so thank you for including it!
“No light, no light” by Florence+The Machine
Thump thump
There it is again, the irregular beating of his heart whenever you come into view.
Thump thump thump
Your laugh, simple and sincere, sends ripples of what he thinks is happiness in his heart. He wishes he could make you do it.
Thump thump thump thump
The drumming gets harder, faster, when you look his way, a smile tilting up your lips, but he can’t be sure it’s for him or the boy who’s never in his shadow no matter Murasakibara’s height.
“Good morning _____-chan,” Himuro greets, smile easy as yours. Is that a blush? Since when does Murasakibara notice let alone care about anyone’s reaction to his apparently “dreamy” partner? He mumbles his own greeting around a piece of candy as they pass you by.
“Something wrong Atushi?” Himuro asks only to be met with a silent shake of the head.
“Murasakibara-kun, are you going to the festival this weekend?” you ask.
“Hmmmm, if there’s food, yeah,” he shrugs.
“Of course they’ll be food!” you laugh and he feels a blush crawling up his neck as your mirth filled eyes meet his. “You should come with us,” you go on, turning attention back to the paper on your desk.
“Us?” he questions.
“Yeah! You, me, Himuro-kun, they’ll be a few more from our class and anyone else you like.”
“What…what if I want it to be just…you and me?” he asks not looking at you.
The pen in your hand drops, your head whipping up to look at him and if he’d looked he’d see the blush upon your cheeks. “Do…do you mean that? I mean…is it, like a date?”
He nods, still unwilling to expose his face to your own.
“Then ask me properly,” you tease gently bumping against him.
He huffs, not sure if he’s more irritated at you for insisting he repeat himself or at himself for being so wimpy over something so silly.
“Go with me to the festival,” he says.
You chuckle, nodding as you reply, “Close enough. Ok, Murasakibara-kun. I’ll go with just you to the festival.”
The festival date leads to more which leads to dating which leads him to where Murasakibara stands now, a crossroad he never even considered existing let alone that he’d be standing at it. For the first time in his life, he’s beginning to wonder if this drumming in his heart is passion. But he can’t let go of his prejudice against it. Passion is for fools, for those who can’t see the truth right in front of their face. He understands talent, inherent skill and ability. But this – these emotions – he doesn’t understand. It’s intangible, an ebb and flow like the tide crashing against the beach the two of you stand upon. How can what he feels coincide with who he is?
“Mura-kun,” you say, voice quiet against the roar of the waves. “What’s wrong? You seem, agitated. Did I upset you?” You can’t for the life of you think what could have happened in the span of the two days you haven’t seen each other but clearly there’s something.
He turns his attention to you, body blocking the moon casting you in darkness and a shiver snakes down your spine. It’s like he’s hiding in plain sight, guarded and hard. So when he steps closer you fight against retreat, willing your body to stand still and wait. Being with him hasn’t been easy but you never expected it to be. He reaches a large hand to cup your face, calloused thumb tracing back and forth across your cheek making you sigh, eyes fluttering closed as you lean into his touch.
His other hand lands on your back, drawing your bodies closer, the hard plane of his chest pressing firmly against your own. You’re unprepared for his lips against yours, the insistence of them jarring your eyes open. His own are closed now, a deep moan rumbling out as he tugs you closer, tongue grazing your lips to push entry in your mouth making your lids snap shut once more. The wind whips his hair against your faces, but he doesn’t care, doesn’t move to push it aside, instead pouring all his focus into kissing you breathless. It isn’t often he initiates intimate contact and although his actions seem in opposition to his mood you’ll take a gift when it’s given.
Time feels like it stops, the world falls away and it’s just you and him.
Pulling away, but with eyes still closed, Murasakibara rasps, “I love you and it’s terrifying.”
And just like that the world crashes back into view, your eyes flying open only to find his still closed, brows furrowed in what seems like pain.
“Why? Why are you scared?” you ask breathlessly, fingertips tracing the line of his clenched jaw.
“Because I don’t know…I don’t know how to,” he admits.
“Mura-kun, look at me,” you implore gently. He shakes his head, ever the petulant child but you can’t be mad. This is the most vulnerable he’s ever been in his life. “Fine, you can just listen then,” you consent. Taking a deep breath, you lean on tiptoes, drawing your lips close to his ear. “You don’t have to worry so much. Because in your own way, you’ve been loving me a long time. I just…never said anything about my own because I didn’t want to scare you away.” You huff a small laugh, shaking your head at the irony. “But you ended up afraid anyway.”
He draws up, tired of leaning down so far, but keeps you close, tucking you against his chest, resting his head on top of your own. The crash of the waves fills the void of silence as you listen to the rapid beat of his heart.
Pulling back you crane to see his face, thankful he’s given up on avoiding eye contact forever and find his purple orbs filled with uncertainty making your heart ache. “If I wasn’t clear before, I’m making it clear now. I love you too…Atushi-kun,” you remark.
Thump thump thump
Murasakibara feels his heart speed up, a flush roaring over his cheeks but his chest no longer feels tight. He lets go of a long breath, picking you up in a hug that has your feet dangling.
He knows there’s so much he has to learn but for the first time in a long time, he doesn’t mind.