Taking a break…again

Hi all. 

I’m sure this is a trend you’re starting to see in the world of fanfic/reader inserts but I too must release myself from the self inflicted responsibility of fulfilling requests and take a break. I have no idea how long I will be gone. 

Truthfully, even with hand picking the asks I wanted to do, I’ve had no motivation and little inspiration even for ideas that sparked my interest. 

I’m tired, mostly because I’m doing a very extreme eating/dieting plan that saps my energy like no other, but I’m also emotionally tired. 

I’m tired of working on things that I receive disproportionate response on for the number of people who follow this blog. If that sounds petty, I’m sorry, but as you’ve seen repeatedly on my blog and others, I am not alone in how I feel. 

Reader / blogger interaction is basically dead. I know there is a host of reasons for it, and I’m not here to try to make you feel bad. But I’m not going to lie and say that isn’t a factor in why so many blogs are dying, deactivating or going silent.

Perhaps, at least with Haikyuu, it’s because more people are reading the manga and thus have either no need or want to continue reading imagines. Maybe the fandom is slowing down because the anime is taking so DAMN LONG to be released. Whatever it is, I’ve felt the effects of it and I just can’t keep pouring the very little reserved energy I have into this any more. 

Also, I’m tired of trying to avoid spoilers. Usually, I don’t care, I’m the first one to read a summary of a movie or video game I’m curious about. But with Haikyuu, I REALLY don’t want to know what’s happened because I want to watch it happen. Overall, the blogs I follow are good about tagging their spoilers posts, but it’s just getting harder and harder to avoid it. 

I’ve come to be friends with a handful of you and I’ll miss our interactions. 

I’m not saying I will never come back, but I’m not setting myself a deadline either. That does mean, though, I’m cancelling a few things and I hope you can forgive me. 

• The aesthetic board follower celebration is cancelled. Through attempting to do that, I have discovered I’m terrible at them and they are not fun for me at all. So, I’m very sorry to have gotten you excited for that. 
• Also, I’m withdrawing my self-ship commission idea. I didn’t think about the fact my real name would have to be available to accept money (which I’m not comfortable with at the moment) and if I’m this down about writing, I don’t want to add more pressure to myself by taking someone’s money and then not delivering in a timely manner or at all. However, I will complete the ones for the winners of the give away, it’s just going to take me a hella long time so I hope you three don’t mind waiting. Again, apologies. 
• I will still be posting with @imagine-knb because I’m part of a team there, so there’s less pressure and for some reason those asks, while part of an almost completely dead fandom, are speaking to me better right now. I don’t get it either but that’s the way it is. 
• I’ll be deleting my Yowamushi Pedal blog. I’ve had very little interaction there and it’s just super disheartening. When I come back, maybe I’ll update the blog name to incorporate more animes, we’ll see when the time comes. 

All of the above is spelling out, clearly, that I simply took on too much for myself. I haven’t even decided what I’m going to do about my Bleach blog. Yes, that’s right, I run three separate blogs on my own. 

Also, I feel like my writing is not where I want it to be. I truly appreciate all of you who say you enjoy it or tell me it’s great and it’s not that I disbelieve you, it’s that the current content I’m creating feels flat and boring. I can’t get my words to flow like they did before and it’s frustrating as hell for me which, again, takes the fun out of writing. I feel like I’m repeating myself over and over and I just stare at the screen getting more and more anxious because the words won’t come. I used to sit and work on fanfic stories for hours, forgetting to eat sometimes because my imagination was so overflowing with ideas that just had to get out. 

Maybe I dried up my own well. 

I thought joining the Tumblr community would increase my creativity and for a while it did. But with a severe drop off in follower interaction, it’s becoming harder and harder to feel there’s any point. 

I hope, whenever I come back, that you guys will still be here and enjoy what I put out. But for now, I have to do what’s best for my mental health and actively running this blog is no longer conducive to me being happy. It makes me so, so sad to admit that but it’s something I think I’ve been ignoring for too long. 

Once again, I’m sorry to disappoint but I’m just done letting myself feel guilty over what started out as a hobby and a way to connect with other fans.

So, it’s ta-ta for now. 

-Admin Jade