Hello hlbanana and welcome! I didn’t remember you asked
for slight angst until I went back to post my reply. This ended up pretty much
full on angst, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Thanks for following and
sending in an ask!
Kise Ryouta –
Prompt #44 – “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
When Kise rounds the corner of his block and sees you sitting on
the stairs of his condo he smiles. But it drops away as your head comes up,
your face streaked with tears and your hand over your mouth.
“Hey,” he says softly crouching down so he’s level with your face,
“what’s wrong? What happened?” His hand reaches out to smooth down your hair
but you stand abruptly and head up the stairs without a word. Ok, maybe you
want to talk to him inside. He follows you, unlocking the door (just now
realizing it’s odd that you didn’t use the key he gave you) and leads you in.
Shutting the door, he opens his mouth to repeat his question only
to snap it shut when you say, “Well, looks like you had a good time at the
party.”
He freezes, eyes going wide when you turn around, a mixture of
pain and anger on your face.
“Yeah, I saw,” you confirm before heading to the bedroom. Kise
remains where he is, his mind working on overtime to try to think of something to say that doesn’t make him
sound like a jerk but there’s really nothing. How can he explain he was only
kissing that woman to prove a point to himself? To confirm what everyone else
already knows but he’s just too damn stubborn and prideful to admit? He always
said he wanted a girl who wouldn’t tie him down and that’s what you started out
as. But now…
“Y/N,” he calls walking down the hall, pausing at the threshold of
his bedroom and watching you empty the drawer he’d designated for you. “That
was…I…”
“Don’t! Just…don’t,” you say over your shoulder, roughly shoving clothing
and other personal items into your backpack. Standing up you rub your eyes, a
mirthless chuckle escaping your lips as you say, “You know? I don’t know why I’m crying. I knew
what this was and I thought I could handle it. But where I come from you don’t
give someone something like this,” you hold up the key he’d given you a couple
weeks ago, “and this,” you kick the drawer you just emptied, “if this,” you
gesture between the two of you, “doesn’t mean anything.”
Kise feels a pang in his chest as you toss the key onto the
dresser before lifting your backpack and shouldering your way past him into the
hall. “______-cchi, it does mean
something-“he says to your back but you cut him off.
“Yeah, it means I’m an idiot for ever allowing myself to get this
close to you. I mean, how did I ever think I could
have a casual relationship with someone? Oh sure, Y/N, let’s try to let go of
being so uptight and needy. Let’s show the people back home you can hang with
the “in crowd”, the “I don’t give crap about anyone crowd”, the “this is all
well and good as long as it’s fun” crowd.“
Kise grabs your wrist but you wrench it away, whirling around,
your eyes red rimmed. “How could I ever think someone as shallow as you
could feel something deep for me?”
He knows you’re angry, and for good reason because he knows he
hasn’t been clear with what he wants, but that hurt. He feels a stinging near
his eyes.
“_________-cchi, please…let me explain-”
“Explain what, exactly? There’s nothing to explain! You’re
not willing to commit, end of story!”
“No, it’s not the end of the story! Damn it, Y/N will you
just let me talk?!” he yells.
“No, Kise, your actions spoke louder than any words you can
say! I’m done! We had our fun, you were a good time and that’s all.”
You turn to leave but he grabs you again desperate for you to at
least listen.
“She didn’t mean anything,” he says quietly.
“None of us mean anything to you Kise,” you answer.
He turns you around, grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking
you once. “Stop, just listen! You…you mean so much to me…I…I need
you.” He pauses but goes for broke, “I love you.”
You laugh in his face, a mocking, angry sound that is painful to
hear, your face contorted in disbelief and slight disgust.
“You’ve got a really screwed up way of showing it,”
you spit out viciously, “having your tongue down another woman’s throat
doesn’t exactly lend credence to your words!” You pull away again, opening
the door.
Kise says, running hands through his hair, “I just…look, I
had to make sure of what I was feeling! I’ve never felt like this before and it
was confusing because I always thought I didn’t want anything more with anyone but
I want you! I want you to be my
girlfriend!”
You turn to look at him, not believing the words you’re hearing.
“So, you needed to make out with another woman to know for sure you love
me?” you ask. He can’t look you in the eyes and it’s all the confirmation
you need.
“You’re such an asshole,” you say lowly making his
head snap up to look at you. “Lose my number. No, you know what? Forget I
even exist because that’s exactly what I’m going to do with you.
Without another word, you walk out his door, not even bothering
to shut it. He watches you go, tears trailing down his cheeks. Even now he’s
hoping, maybe you’ll turn around. He doesn’t shut the door until he can’t see
you anymore.
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